Forgiving yourself is quite often something we over look. Why not add the gift of forgiveness to yourself and others? Families argue and don't speak for many reasons. We have a saying in England:
"You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family but, love them anyway!"
One of my dear friends had quite the divorce. Her soon to be ex- decided to bring the kids into the middle of things. He told them all kinds of things about their mother. He took a little truth and wrapped it up in a lot of embellishment. Before you know, hints, suggestions and Mom was the bad guy and Dad was the poor victim.
My friend got caught up in feeling like the victim of a master manipulator and needed validation! She was in agony! She lived, breathed and longed for her children and grandchildren. But, she felt she needed an apology! She needed to hear her kids say I was wrong to listen to Dads stories, I love you please forgive me. It wasn't forth coming.
She was caught up in what she felt she needed. They were caught up in defending dad and wanting an apology from her as she was not the mother they thought she was and needed to be very sorry for her actions. Neither side knew how to compromise. Finally, she heard me. I'd tried to put her right several times and I kept on at her. She was in too much pain to hear me. I advised her not to ask her kids for an apology or discuss with them the divorce or her ex in anyway. If and when she spoke about him it must be with love and kindness.
Finally, she had enough and asked me what she should do to reunite her family. I told her to call each child and also send them a loving card and this is what the message and the card read. I love you and miss you more than words can say. It was never my intention to hurt you or your brother and sister in anyway. Please forgive me. I'm looking forward to putting this behind us and if you decide to forgive we never need talk of it again! Let’s get on with our lives and start spending some quality time together. That was all that was needed. Each child said they were sorry too!
Now, at the holidays, the kids, their spouses and her grandchildren get together in her small home in the most loving environment possible. They tell their Dad, we're going to Moms home for dinner. You can come and bring your new wife with you. Mom won't mind! Of course he never shows, but she learned to invite him regardless! See what living in the moment being love in action will get you! Why not see what forgiveness can do for you?
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